‘Excuse me can you please watch my luggage’ I said to this complete stranger in the airport the other day, ‘Sure” he replied, while I walked off to check how much my flight to Newcastle had been delayed. “You’re a very trusting young lady” he said as I walked back over to him. “I don’t believe I’ve done anything wrong recently that would warrant someone to steal my bag” I laughed back at him. Later on I found out his name was Paul, he was also on my flight returning back home to Newcastle, a lovely man in his 70’s with a wife, kids and loads of grand kids.
“I’ve a nephew who is a yoga instructor, yoga helped him alot, before he found yoga he was working a horrible job that made him miserable with very long hours, one that meant that he was fighting a lot with his partner at the time, they aren’t together now though, she left him but he has a new girlfriend, here is a photo of them.”
I’m not sure if it was the pint of beer I was drinking during the day, the fact that I had been up since 3am that morning or how comfortable I instantly felt around Paul but I found myself sad again. “See that's the thing with a lot of respectable men in their 30’s, the ones that are ready to settle, I mean I don’t know that story and it has obviously happened for a reason. But men are born providers, born givers if they are in a relationship or not some want to build a kingdom first in preparation, some are happy doing it with another person. Some spend their whole lives providing for others, paying most of the bills, starting work at 7 and finishing at 6 playing with the kids for a tiny bit before they go to bed, some even cooking dinner for the whole family also. Their partners want them to support them emotionally and physically, they want them to provide for them daily in more ways than one. And what do they get in return? In this case, abandoned. I see older men in my yoga classes every week, and they love it because it is there stretching alone time. They have spent their whole lives giving to everyone else around them but themselves and now they can barely walk, hours spent bending over, lifting things and overworking their bodies. There are plenty good men, but sometimes it’s not good enough”
His jaw had been slightly dropping with each word I spoke. “Wow, to hear that come out of someone’s mouth that is so young.”
“Well, I’m not that young” I laughed. A snippet of an hour long conversation with Paul. Other than noting I talk a fucking shit load I remembered...
Men are amazing creatures, but they are run differently to females, their brains function differently. Everyone has male and female energy in them. You cannot expect a man to fully understand a female unless he is willing to step into and embrace his own divine feminine power. Same with females embracing their masculine side.
My conversation with Paul reminded me that we have to understand that females are wired more to worry, to be more emotional and go overboard with caring, planning and cleaning. Males can be more relaxed and chill, and can function and focus a lot better on one thing then 15 things at once unlike us ladies can. Every gender, every person has their own individual insecurities. It’s about working together daily to keep it together and assess what changes can be made to continue together or you grow apart. Behind many females is a person or magazine that has made her feel not worthy of love, so she screams, begs and expects attention from the closest male they have in their lives which, for some is there partner. But a lot of males have body issues, and different insecurities, maybe there was once a woman that has cheated on him, who knows, but some struggle with expressing their emotions clearly enough to get it out. It's about communication, putting the old insecurities behind and doing it TOGETHER. Because things are constantly changing in this world each party needs to make a commitment to keep up and support each other. Each party needs to work on themselves and their own individual happiness. The compromise that should happen between both parties, screaming at a male to communicate, then talking over the top of him or not listening to what he actually has to respond is not going to get anyone anywhere. Ladies (yes I'm constantly guilty of this) have a knack for thinking males can read their minds (they can't) or should know things, we pester them for communication but don't do it ourselves to a certain level. Males enjoy compliments too, why is it only expected that the females get constantly built up?
I know plenty of amazing, faithful, loyal men. The ones that can barely fit in their own hobbies due to full time work, or do nothing else but be with their families in their spare time, which is obviously beyond amazing. When do they get time to do things that helps build up their courage, their body image issues, what are they doing so they can get enough self love the same as what a lot of females do? Who is watching out for them so that they can express themselves enough and in their own way so that the worlds stress and depression issues don’t continue to rise.
I am a feminist, and I love men. You know, the good guys, what about them?
Well anyway we landed and I met Paul's wife and one of his bloody stunning grand daughters and that was it, off we both went on with our lives. Best delayed pre flight ever. I’m not sure how I keep meeting such awesome people, but I will continue to enjoy every single moment of this crazy life.