Happiness, just another fleeting emotion? What is happiness? What is happiness to you? Laughter, friends, the open road, smiles, family, the ocean, giggling, staring into someone else's eyes, sharing jokes?
I recently found myself purchasing a beautiful pillow case and sleep eye mask set. Now these weren't cheap, don't ask why, they are silk and pure deliciousness. As I left the store I thought to myself, I can't put this new case on my old pillow. So I found myself purchasing a quiet expensive pillow “I deserve this, plus we spend a lot of our time sleeping” I said to myself to justify my spending.
So that night, with clean sheets, new pillow case, pillow and sleep mask, I lay down to go to sleep. And holy. fuck. Words cannot explain the feeling, I was in heaven, on earth. Then I'm soaking up this feeling in all its glory and next minute you wouldn't believe, it starts to rain. Imagine, for one second, the sound of rain on my roof, with my head floating on a magical cushion of pleasure. Pure euphoria. That was it, that was the moment, that’s what it is all about.
Why am I telling this story? Because in this moment, I also new it wouldn't happen again. I wouldn't be able to feel this ever again, so I knew I had to stay present and absorb it and all its glory. Sure enough the next night I was still in love with my new belongings, but the feeling wasn't the same. So what do I next? Go out and spend hundreds on an even dearer pillow and pillowcase trying and get that feeling again? No, I accept in this moment, this temporary feeling for what it is, bliss.
One time on an adventure on Fraser island, some friends and I were camping on the beach. Night had set in and things had become quiet, after sharing a story or ten over dinner and beers, we start to hear whales breaching and talking to each other right in front of the beach we were on. The sounds were absolutely incredible, right there and then all of us in stunned silence, gob smacked, just listening. My mate then says “this is it, this is a moment we are going to remember forever, a story we will tell everyone, our friends and eventually our children about how amazing this one camping trip was.” I was taken back, these truthful words ringing in my ears about how I had to stay present. So the time to sleep came, I was in a single swag with a mosquito net over me that was slightly touching my face, breathing through my claustrophobia, until all I could see was the stars in the sky. The milky way itself alive and intense, the brightest stars I had ever seen with whales singing their song and splashing. Trying to paint a picture here, the next second you wouldn't believe it I couldn't make this up, I get to see the biggest shooting star ever! I was ecstatic, floating on a fleeting moment of pure brilliance, of pure ecstasy that I was so kindly reminded I would never get back.
It is said that one of the best showers is after a 4 day bender at home after a festival. That feeling of water rushing down on you cleansing away the dirt, the stink, the booze. That feeling of holy shit, this shower is the absolute tits. All the blurred memories flooding back in, the glimpses of people's faces you met, reality setting in, smiling to yourself at the jokes, the stories and crazy stuff that you seen and done. Does that mean we go out every weekend to a four day festival, just to get that amazing feeling of that shower when we arrive home? No way, it is accepted for what it is, epic moments in time encased in the brain forever.
Can we be happy 24/7? I don't believe so, as temporary as sadness and anger is, so is lust, jealousy and happiness. I do some of my best thinking when I'm sad. It helps me bring realisation to things. We have to feel sadness to know and realise what our own definition of happiness is.
Do we ever really know when these little moments are going to be unforgettable as what they are until it's too late? Do we ever know what we’ve got until it’s gone? Do we ever know in the actual moment that this event, meeting a person for the first time, seeing that rare sunrise that will never ever be seen the same ever again, sharing that first kiss. Do we ever know it is going to be as life changing as what it actually is in the heat of the moment? The fact we will never get this moment back, or feeling the exact same way ever again is the biggest treasure.The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow except we don't need to find the end of the rainbow, that would be a pointless endeavour, being able to see the rainbow is the gold in itself.
Society has led us to believe if we buy things we will be happy, that you can only be happy if you are in a relationship, or that someone else can make you happy. That is all good and well, as long as we register that these things we are conned into thinking are going to make you happy are temporary and fleeting. Instead of jumping from one thing to the next, being content with what is right in front of you to start off with. It's sometimes hard to cope with endings, just in general. No matter the scenario sometimes fear starts to rule when the brain starts to register that things are coming to an end.
Maybe happiness is the understanding, acceptance and realisation that everything ends.
By little ‘ol me. Ridin’ the highs. Ridin’ the lows.