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As long as gender is an issue, gender issues will always be around


I long for a world where we can communicate openly and it is received just as openly from the other end. I wish for a world where the stereotypical gender issues can be broken and for people to understand that sometimes these are emotional issues, nothing to do with gender at all. We as a collective society need more comprehension of love and understanding.

I believe the world needs both female and males, a balance of the energies. Not talking about relationships with that statement, just in general. Every single person has male and female energies inside of them. It sucks that people are punished because the gender that they were born. What we should be looking at is how much kindness and love we emit every day. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for a male, and we wouldn’t be born if it wasn’t for a female. 

With lots of interviews with both genders and investigations on the topics I am left to sit here and wonder, there are plenty of males that never texted a female back, but i’m curious, is there not many females that do not reply also, that give out fake names and numbers? I sit here and I know, that there are some males that will send unwarranted, inappropriate photos of their genitals that aren’t asked for. Not saying it is ok, but I am wondering though with many females that are using filters and putting up over sexualised pictures, is that the male's reasoning? There are many males in this world that have used females for sex, but I start to think, are there not females that also use males for sex, for company, for food, list could go on? There are humans regardless of gender that use and abuse others. Is there not people in general that chase that 3 to 6 month honeymoon, oxytocin rush, then move on, chancing a constant high? Sucks, but it happens. Yes, I'm guilty of some of this at some point.

A lot of us are broken.

Behind some insecure chicks, is a male that made her that way. But I sit here and wonder, did she just read to many magazines or watch too much reality tv so she thinks she isn’t worthy of anything because she doesn’t look like the ladies in the pages or show?

Behind some males there is a little boy who is 10 years old, who watched his mum get hurt emotionally and or physically by his step dad. His only wish now is to grow up big and strong to be able to protect himself from the big bad world. So I sit here and I think, does meeting ladies that don’t love themselves remind him of his childhood?

Behind some chicks, is a dad who abandoned her completely so she projects that very issue onto every male that she ever meets. I sit here and I’m curious, is she just scared that any guy she meets is going to do that very same thing?

Behind some males is a beautiful lady, who up and left without a word, without enough communication to him from his end, he didn’t get enough closure. He needed and wanted more words as to why she is gone now. But I sit here and wonder, did she speak a lot about what she needed and wanted, but it was never properly listened to? Was it because she always spoke about anything and everything, just in general? I am wondering, because he potentially hasn’t dealt with her leaving, months pass and when he meets the next beautiful lady but he is reminded of his ex and that hurt of her disappearance so he stops replying to this new girls texts, or never contacts her again after the first date.

Behind some chicks is the most amazing dad in the world who can do everything and anything, who set the bar highest of them all and so she is on the hunt for a male that is similar. I sit here and I think, is that why her expectations are so high and why she is breaking numerous hearts on her journey? Because no one is ever going to be as amazing as him?

I’m curious, maybe he thought if he tried to communicate to tell you that it wasn’t working he would stumble on his words, maybe he thought you would try to finish his sentences and misinterpreted his words, maybe he thought it would make you more sad or angry, so he just didn’t bother. I am wondering, does this stem from the fact that one time he tried that with someone else, and it hurt to see someone he actually cared about cry? Maybe you wouldn’t do any of that to him but it was an irrational fear projected from his end because it has previously happened.

I start to think, maybe if he never texted you back, does that mean you were never right for each other in the first place? I wonder, should their be gratitude, instead of anger? I start to then assume that there is a possibility that if you gave ‘it’ up too fast, maybe he feels guilty, because you were easily manipulated, and the chase is gone?

I sit here and I wonder, the chick that projects herself so strongly, her fantasies, ideals and thoughts of how her ideal man should be onto any man, is the way she is because she’s had bizarre thoughts since she was 5 years old, and her issues with men stemming from disney movies. I wonder, does that overflow onto any innocent male that gives her one tiny bit of attention? Would she try and change him to fit into her bubble instead of accepting his perfect imperfections? I start to think because of that maybe he didn’t feel worthy enough upon meeting her? Thinking maybe he didn’t want to spend the rest of this potential future relationship trying to make her feel good about herself, when she didn’t feel hundred percent about herself while single? Was he thinking that it would be too much hard work?  

I beg you to have some understanding, that maybe the chick you took home from the bar doesn’t sleep around. And I am wondering did she just want one moment in her life where she could feel loved by something greater than herself and be in the arms of a masculine man for once? Or not, I wonder, what if she does sleep around a bit, does it matter either way? Males get to shack up with a different chick every weekend but females are meant to virgins? Please!

I beg you to have some understanding, instead of going around to all your girlfriends and gossiping about this guy that was talking to you all the time and suddenly dropped off. I am wishing you to realise, that you are an awesome person, and maybe it wasn’t you. Maybe it is greater than you and he thought you were an amazing human. But maybe it is as simple as, he has an ability to make ladies feel good about themselves, there is nothing wrong with that? I ponder, does he just need to live a bit before any thought of commitment? Is that why 6 months goes past and chicks receive the 'how are you' text, because his considering commitment now?

I sit here and I contemplate, is this guy you keep calling a f#ckboy is the way he is because he was constantly being used at the bar for a free drink? Maybe because he was sick of being used for food deliveries, being used for sex. I know a lot of chicks that have known they don’t like a guy but haven't let them know because ‘the sex is good though.’ I begin to think, maybe he is sick of being friendzoned? Look I would be lying if I didn’t admit I have been one of those chicks before. Maybe this guy has just taken these previous issues out on the wrong person at the wrong time and isn't actually the horrible person that you're portraying him to be.

At the end of the day there is no excuse for being a shitty human, regardless of anything, but to whose visuals and values? There are always going to be exceptions to anything and I'm not saying doing some of the things listed above is ok to do, from either gender. I’m asking to look beyond that hurt for the compassion and so the potential healing can start. I can really only comment on what it is like being a female in this world at this time on earth, getting periods, having to go through menopause later on, giving birth to a child, and it is hard enough without all the other shit.

I could go on, as long as you get the idea that most of us are just doing the very best we can, we actually feel nothing of how another does, we assume. I sit here and i’m curious, are all just innocently trying to protect our own heart, and is there anything wrong with that? Males and females are not the same, or think the same, and that is the beauty of it. 

This world lacks a lot of face to face communication so before you are quick to judge or jump to conclusions, why don’t we all stop and try and have some love and understanding instead?

I wonder, maybe if we all took a moment to try understand what other people may have been through or are going through, would there be a shit load less hateful people and more massive amounts of compassion?  I wonder, instead of all that should we be looking into why that human gravitated in your life in the first place? After all, everything happens for a reason. Should we all just respect that everyone has a different journey?

All I actually know is the only way forward is to work together. Let's not make stereotypical gender issues a thing when they could possibly be an emotional one. As long as gender is made an issue, rather than love and compassion, gender issues will always be around.

Peace out beauties.